Don’t you dare
It was you
Who saved my life.
If that does not
Then I guess
More about me
Than it does
Back in March, it was announced that Sofia Coppola would be directing the live-action adaptation The Little Mermaid, following in the wake of other live action fairytale adaptations, mainly Snow White and the Huntsman and the upcoming Malificent.
Critics have expressed their concern over Coppola’s decision, given that some see her very specific style as being unsuited to the fairy tale genre. Fear not, though: Funny or Die has created a mock trailer that explores what Coppola’s The Little Mermaid might look like.
The trailer starts with a bored Ariel (Annasophia Robb) texting in her undersea bedroom, bored out of her mind. Only chain smoking, bad tattoo having ‘Prince’ Eric (Evan Peters) and his wrist cast can pull Ariel out of her slump. The very Sofia Coppola-esque soundtrack kicks in as Ariel wades out of the pool for the first time. She proceeds to take to Eric by writing on his cast: “I can’t speak.” When she goes to write more, Eric stops her. ”No no, that’s cool,” he tells her. ”I’m saving room for my other friends.”
The trailer continues with several of my favorite Sofia Coppola tropes: a techno-pop song while Ariel rolls around on a hotel bed and shows off her new legs and feet. A brief wardrobe montage. A nightclub scene. A title card that tells us how many musical artists we’ll hear in the film (a lot.)
Cut back to Ariel, staring out the window. ”Someone once said ‘the seaweed is always greener in someone else’s lake.’” Ariel narrates, as Eric hugs and chats up a different girl outside. Ariel sits in the bathroom, looking at what might’ve been her shell bra. It falls apart. ”A crab said that,” she says.
A strangely beautiful cover of “Part of Your World” kicks up as the mock trailer gives us another round of Coppola classics: Eric chain smokes underwater. Ariel jumps up and down on a bed. In my favorite scene, Ariel leans in to whisper something significant in Eric’s ear. “You literally just said nothing,” Eric tells her.
Though it may be only a parody, if Sophia Coppola’s The Little Mermaid was anything like this fake trailer, I would go see it. Call me a sucker for Coppola’s films, even with all of her flashy tropes and outlandish soundtracks. I love it, and if Coppola just wants to pick up where the trailer left off and go from there, I’d be totally cool with that.